It’s Slow Time!

Tortoise Protocol

Tortoise Protocol by Juno

Turtles are aquatic reptiles, found in watery habitats like rivers and lakes. Unlike turtles, tortoises are land-based reptiles, with stout sturdy legs and high domed shells. Terrapins, for your information, are semi-aquatic reptiles, found in fresh or brackish (i.e. semi-salty) water. The takeaway information from this lesson, which will be on the test, is that you should not place your tortoise in the water. WouldnJuno.

and slow it begins …

Tortoise is another beautifully crafted and charming production from Juno, the master of pleasing SD puzzles in wood. The turtle took its time, traveling across the globe, but slow and steady wins the race, as they say, and it will come as no surprise if that is what happens (winning) with our impressive friend here at any potential awards events. Like many of Juno’s animal creations, the turtle is interactive and playful, doing things turtles like to do. He is a bit shy, and not nearly as aggressive as some other animals we have met. Unlike a certain hungry hippo, who enjoys a tasty finger now and then, this tortoise prefers to retreat into his shell, as turtles, hermit crabs, and introverts of all kinds tend to do. Good luck coaxing him out. This interactive aspect to the puzzle is one of the design features that Juno loves the most. He told me a bit more about the story.

and slow it goes

“The idea for a puzzle themed around the Tortoise had existed for a long time, but the design process was not started until the first half of 2024, once the concrete concept had been solidified. Once the core concept was defined, the shape naturally followed.” Juno and his wife Yukari, who together run their small business in Australia, tell a fun story about the name that almost was: “In Japanese, both "tortoise" and "turtle" are pronounced "kame," which is also part of the name of the great Akio Kamei. We considered naming the puzzle "Kame Akio" until just before release, but ultimately lacked the courage to do so.”

leaving slow soon?

Hidden deep inside the guts of our friendly reptile is a little chamber holding a prize. It has miraculously survived his digestive enzymes and waits patiently for you to discover, and dislodge. Achieving this generous act of animal kindness is reward unto itself, but the tortoise will also surely thank you for relieving his indigestion. Don’t be too pleased with yourself just yet, however, you still need to put everything back together properly, and that’’s a final puzzle to solve. Juno has created another masterpiece of intricate and clever sequential discovery, mixing various ideas and clever steps which interact across and throughout the puzzle. There are many steps requiring many different tools, which force you to take your time. There’s no hurry. Just exploring the possibilities is enjoyable.

slow near, and yet, slow far …

Like all of Juno’s creations, the tortoise is extremely well crafted and designed to function flawlessly. The many (many) pieces are all sturdy and slide smoothly against each other, with no chance for issues related to humidity, wood swell or jamming. This is no mere coincidence and took very careful planning, testing and attention to detail. “Due to limited timber options available in sizes large enough for the major parts, the material was chosen based on compatibility with CNC machining, as well as strength and dimensional stability after processing. Traditional woodworking machines, multiple CNC routers, and numerous jigs and tools were used in the fabrication process. Dealing with the effects of wood deformation proved to be the most challenging aspect. Kiln-dried timber purchased years earlier was used. After rough cutting the pieces into basic shapes, they were further dried and acclimated in a homemade drying chamber before use. Even so, in some areas, the width of the parts shrank by about 1mm compared to the initial stage of machining. Traditional woodworking machines, multiple CNC routers, and numerous jigs and tools were used in the fabrication process. Designing and processing parts to function properly even after deformation required great effort.”

the slow must go on

About the puzzle design itself, he mentions “It was discovered that people with small fingers could shortcut steps toward the solution, and a major revision was made to prevent this. Each individual movement of a piece is simple, but by combining them, a new mechanism was achieved.” The Tortoise is simply a pleasure to explore, and rewards you with many satisfying discoveries over time. Juno, a master craftsman, is equally a master at designing puzzle experiences that are challenging, yet achievable, which is a great formula for fun.  It’s no wonder he wins so many awards.

Turtle Negroni

The toast to this turtle was a bit slow to arrive, naturally. A quick bit of research led to the “Baby Turtle” cocktail, a fan favorite from San Francisco’s Trick Dog which opened to industry and critical acclaim in 2013. They have always innovated delicious cocktails around pop culture themes. For example, they once had an entire menu dedicated to the Pantone color palette. Baby Turtle, a pink grapefruit colored tequila citrus sour from that first menu, has remained available at the bar ever since. I noticed that the ingredients were nearly identical to a cocktail called Modest Means I had already paired with a different turtle many years ago, because the idea of modesty fit well with the name of that turtle. It seems like a crazy coincidence, since that cocktail didn’t have any overt relation to turtles. But I didn’t want such a similar drink, and besides, the current turtle is no baby – he’s fully grown! Another tack I might have taken was to emulate the flavors in the chocolate, caramel and pecan candies known as “turtles”. A nice Old Fashioned might be a good template for such a drink, but again, I had already done that for yet another turtle!

you can bring a turtle a Negroni but you can’t make him drink

Slowly, steadily, I knew that what I really wanted, all along, was a Negroni. I’ve made a few colorful Negronis before – cherry red, electric blue, vibrant purple, even crystal clear. Naturally, the Tortoise Negroni had to be green. I turned to a favorite template for colored Negronis, which starts out fairly clear to begin with, and turns colorful with just a hint of something interesting. The best example of this template is also one of my favorite bespoke cocktails ever. It’s just the thing to make if you ever find yourself host to an alien at happy hour. The protocol for turtles makes just one small adjustment, swapping out blue curacao, which gives the drink a lovely orange flavor, for green Midori, which lends a more summer friendly hint of melon to the drink. It’s time to slow down and enjoy this one – cheers!

slow much the better with this pair

Turtle Negroni

1 oz mezcal

1 oz Luxardo Bitter Bianco

1 oz Cocchi Americano

¼ oz Midori

Stir ingredients with ice and strain into a rocks glass over a large cube. No official garnish.

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